


Of Crudely Drawn Hearts and Elevators

by AWeekendInMay



Series: Soulmate!5sos [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Michael is Michael, Panic Attacks, Protective Calum, Shy Luke, Soulmates, ashton gives really good advice and even better cuddles, calum is a puppy, soulmate touch, soulmate!calum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-14 15:39:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4570038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWeekendInMay/pseuds/AWeekendInMay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time you felt your soulmate touch was during your first panic attack. You couldn’t breathe. You could feel the air coming in through your mouth but it wouldn’t reach your lungs leaving you gasping for breath. Your hands were shaking so hard it was like your whole body was vibrating and your throat burned like it was frostbit. Then you felt it, the ghosting sensation of two thumbs rubbing circles into your hipbones.</p>
<p>In which you can feel every touch that your soulmate feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Soft Word Drawn In Flesh

The first time you felt your soulmate touch was during your first panic attack. Your parents were fighting again and the screaming and sounds of breaking dishes was too much for you to drown out. You couldn’t breathe. You could feel the air coming in through your mouth but it wouldn’t reach your lungs leaving you gasping for breath. Your hands were shaking so hard it was like your whole body was vibrating and your throat burned like it was frostbit. Your vision was just starting to blur around the edges. Then you felt it, the ghosting sensation of two thumbs rubbing circles into your hipbones. It shocked the hell out of you. Shocked you so much that you stopped breathing for a few seconds, effectively ending the panic attack. As your breathing returned to normal, you slid down against the wall of your bedroom, letting your head lean back and rest against it. 

You had learned about the soulmate touch in school; everyone had to go through the soulmate class their freshman year of high school so that they would be prepared. You knew about this well, the way it should feel, how they would be able to feel your touches too, how to block your soulmate for short periods of time if you knew you would be in pain, you knew everything. But nothing had prepared you for the real life sensation of it. How it felt against your skin, how it calmed your racing heart and made your entire body feel comforted and at ease. You had always heard how you would care for your soulmate instantly, how big of a part of your life they would become in a millisecond, but you never really believed. Now you knew.

The rubbing on your hips stopped and started up a few seconds later, this time on your inner arm. It felt like your soulmate was trying to draw something. H…I…hi. You smiled softly and traced a ‘hi’ in return. You ok? they wrote next and you paused for a second as the door slammed down stairs, ending the fight between your parents. You sighed and wrote back ‘Yes, thanks to you’.  
You spend the rest of the night, and early into the morning writing back and forth with your soulmate. It took your breath away each time they wrote something back, their touch feeling slightly different, a little warmer and more tingly, than yours. You told each other jokes, shared your favorite colors and songs, talked about your friends, anything and everything felt comfortable and right. You couldn’t help the blush when he, you figured that part out when he said his name was Cal, said you must be a princess because of how delicate and sweet your touch felt. When the exhaustion began to weigh down your eyelids, your soulmate traced a soft sleep now princess into your arm. You cuddled back into your bed and you felt the soft circles on your hips begin again, lulling you into a relaxed sleep. 

The last thing you remember before your eyes shut was Cal tracing little hearts into the inside of your arms, slightly crooked and a little too pointy to be pretty, but you couldn’t help thinking that they were perfect, because they were him.

Cal’s POV

She had scared the living shit out of him. He had been on an elevator when it had happened, and he had first thought the panic attack was his own. Michael, who was with him, had pulled him instantly into his arms and tried to get Calum to match his breathing. But then he noticed that the panic attack wasn’t quite strong enough to be his own. It had to be his soulmate. He didn’t know if it would help, and Michael looked at him like he was bat shit crazy when he started to rub his hips, but he let out a sigh of relief when he felt his soulmate relax.  
It had been Luke’s idea to try and talk to her, and he could kiss the boy for suggesting it. And although it wouldn’t have been the first time the two boys had shared a kiss, he had a soulmate now and he doubted they would appreciate him kissing someone else. 

She hadn’t mentioned why she had the panic attack and he didn’t ask. He just wanted her safe and happy. So he kept the conversation light and joking, sharing some of the ridiculously lame jokes Luke had told him over the years. When her exhaustion got so bad that he could feel it heavily, he told her to sleep, then started back the rubbing on his hips. If she asked him to he would stay awake all night doing it, no matter how ridiculous he looked rubbing his own hips. He would do anything for her. 

As he felt her settle into sleep, he traced crooked little hearts into his arms. His first girlfriend had told him his hearts were ugly, pointy in a way that made them look too much like three point stars. But somehow he thought his princess might appreciate his pointy, crudely drawn hearts. 

 

 

It didn’t take long for Cal to become the most essential part of your life. You had only been getting your soulmate touch for a little over two weeks now, but the bond was instantaneous, like everyone had always said it would be. He put you to sleep every night by drawing those little hearts all over you and you woke him up every morning by running your fingers through your hair to give him the sensation of his hair being played with. 

Your life had gotten so much better now that you had Cal in your life. He always knew how to send you little touches when you needed them most, and how to touch you so that you would feel better. The conversations you had, drawing letters into the skin of your arms or legs, always left you feeling relaxed and safe. The best part of the day was those moments when you got to talk to him, you loved hearing all of the stories about his friends, how Lou was literally the real life version of what a tree would be like on roller blades, how Mike who had gotten his soulmate touch years ago would tease his soulmate in the most inappropriate ways. You couldn’t stop the blush that spread all the way down your neck when your mind began to wonder if Cal would ever do that to you. 

You wanted to know everything about him. Most of your conversations were kept joking and lovable, neither of you really talked about specific details of your life. You wanted to ask where he was from or what he did for a living, but you could always sense this strange tension whenever something really personal came up. It hurt you to know Cal might be hiding things from you. But after all, you had only known him for two weeks, things would come with time and when he was ready, he would tell you. 

All you really knew was the boy gave a lot of hugs. And I mean a lot. Every day. So much so that you began to wonder if a professional hugger was even a real thing. You couldn’t help but be slightly jealous of all the people that got to hug Cal. He was your soulmate yes, and you got to feel his touch, but that just didn’t compare to the thought of getting to really touch him, to really hold him. You spent a lot of time wondering what that would be like, what it would feel like. Because even just getting this secondary form of touch, this slight warm tingle that let you know he was out there somewhere felt like nothing else in the world. Cal felt like home.

Calum’s POV

Calum didn’t want to meet her yet. Maybe that was crazy, all of the boys told him so. Hell, Michael was damn near desperate to find his soulmate. In fact just a few hours ago he had yet another mood swing over the fact that his soulmate still wouldn’t confess to him who he was, where he lived, even his name. Michael just wanted to know, but his soulmate wouldn’t give and used blocking most of the time so that Michael wouldn’t get too much of a sense of what his soulmate was feeling. Calum understood. 

It’s not that he didn’t want to meet her, right now he was just too scared. Because he couldn’t protect her. 5sos was getting more and more popular by the minute and with the popularity also came the hate, and the rumors, and the paps. And when it got out that Calum had a soulmate things would go nuts. He couldn’t subject her to that, not yet. He had seen his own best friends crack under the pressure, had cracked himself, and he couldn’t let that happen to his princess. He had to do some planning first, make sure he could keep her safe, before he let her know who he was.

He could sense that she wanted to know, how she held herself back from asking the questions she wanted to. He was thankful that in some way she understood. It was just more proof that she was perfect for him. He knew everyone else would love her as much as he did. He had tried to refrain from telling too many people, only the boys and Mali-Koa knew. He couldn’t wait to tell his mom and dad. He couldn’t wait to tell everyone how amazing and perfect his soulmate was. How someone so good and light wanted him. How someone took all of his shit, his good days and bad, his grumpiness, his dreams and fears, his stupid squishy resting bitch face, and didn’t want to change a single thing about him. And when he brought her into his world, it would be perfect.

They would be happy.


	2. Don't Block Me Out

Cal was drunk. It wasn’t the first time, Cal and his friends liked to party, but this time it was different. You woke up feeling nauseated, your head pounding slightly and the crease of your left elbow throbbing dully. The sick feeling sat low in your stomach, and your thoughts twisted, black clouds of worry in your mind. You knew the moment he was awake, you could feel the subtle hand against your stomach and then he emptied the contents of his own stomach into what you hoped was a toilet. You rubbed against the back of your neck softly, hoping to comfort him. When he was finished you traced into your thigh “so... rough night?”

He traced back a Just a little bit. 

“What happened to your arm?”

Oh shit, I forgot to block that so you wouldn’t feel it. I got a tattoo.

“While you were drunk?”

Before I got drunk. It was part of the celebration.

The pain faded from your arm as Cal started blocking. You wanted to ask what they were celebrating, but you didn’t want to upset him by asking him something too personal. But you couldn’t stop the mudslide feeling in the pit of your stomach as you thought of all the other ways he might have celebrated. Before you knew it, your finger was moving against your own accord.

“What else did the celebration include.”

For a few minutes there was radio silence. You could feel him rub the back of his neck in frustration.

What are you suggesting princess?

“It was just a question Cal.”

Do you not trust me? You would have felt it too.

“It’s not that Cal, I was just wondering. You blocked for a while because of the tattoo.”

That was a lie. You wanted to believe he wouldn’t be with anyone else, but how could you trust him when he wouldn’t even tell you things about his personal life? You just wished he would let you in. There was no answer back for a while, then Cal finally slowly traced back, Nothing happened, nothing will happen. I’m yours princess.

As soon as the words stopped, the circles on your hips started. He knew it was your favorite feeling in the entire world, you had told him so, and he did it often just to make you smile. You sighed deeply and tried to push away all the negative thoughts viciously hurricaning through your head. 

Whatever happened, you two would be okay, you had to believe that.

 

Calum’s POV

Calum was furious, how could she think things about him like that? He had to talk to Luke about this. When he needed good advice he talked to Ashton, when he just needed to bitch he went to Michael, but when he needed someone to just tell him they understood and cuddle him for a while, Luke was the go to person.

Calum stormed into Luke’s hotel room, fighting mad, but as he told Luke about what had happened, the anger bled out of him. By the time he was finished he was a sobbing mess in Luke’s arms, curled around him like a baby koala. 

Luke petted his hair gently, murmuring to him quietly as he waited for Calum to calm down. When Calum was finally silent, Luke sat up straight and looked Calum in the eyes.

“You have to understand where she is coming from. You won’t tell her the names of your parents, or where you’re from, or what you do for a living. How is she supposed to trust you man? If I was her I would have thought the same thing. She’s just scared. You’re her soulmate and you’re keeping things from her. What is she supposed to think and feel? I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s what you need to hear.”

Calum felt like he had been punched in the gut. And though his hangover had long subsided, all he wanted to do right now was run to the toilet and puke up everything he had in him.He wanted to tell her, but he just couldn’t, he just needed a little more time. 

“ You’re supposed to be the one who tells me you understand what I’m feeling not make me feel like and ass... But thanks Luke, I didn’t know you could be so serious mate. And thanks for telling me what a dick I’m being in the nicest way possible. Whoever your soulmate is is gonna be one lucky person.”

Luke’s face turned a brilliant shade of pink and he looked down at his hands, fidgeting in his lap. “I don’t think the whole soulmate thing is for me Cal-pal. It’s just not gonna work out.”

“What do you mean Luke? That’s crazy, your soulmate is gonna love you!”

Luke let out a huff and pushed deeper into the covers of his bed, hunching in on himself and curling into a ball. “You don’t understand Cal, I already found them. I know who they are. They don’t want me, they couldn’t want me! Me blocking them until I can find a separator is what’s best for them.”

Calum shook his head and tried in vain to pull the covers off Luke. “Shut up Luke, that’s bullshit.”

“You don’t understand Calum!” Luke suddenly yelled out. “The could never want me! It won’t work out.” He said the last part in a broken whisper and Calum’s heart broke for him.

“I love them Cal, but they can’t love me back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Authors Note: a separator is someone who is gifted with the ability to separate the bond between soulmates so that they no longer have any type of connection with each other


	3. You'll Still Have Us

You wished you could say that your life had been perfect ever since you got your soulmate touch, but that just wasn’t the case. The soulmate touch wasn’t some fairy tale ending, and as amazing as Cal was, things were still hard for you. Love isn’t easy, even with a soulmate. Love isn’t a cure for depression, or anxiety, or panic attacks. And having a soulmate isn’t an easy happily ever after, you still have to work for it.

There were still many nights that you woke up screaming from nightmares, and many days where you broke down and had panic attacks. There were days when you could feel Cal’s anxiety and depression taking over your own body. You couldn’t fix each other. That’s not what soulmates are for. All you could do was love each other, exactly as you were.

But there was one thing that helped both of you. Music. Music was always one of the number one topics of your conversations. You and Cal talked about what bands you liked, new songs you love or hated, old songs that took you back in time. And while you couldn’t listen to music together, or sing, you could still trace your favorite lyrics into each others bodies and hope that the other could feel how much they meant to you. That’s why you were excited to tell Cal your news.

“Guess what Cal?” you excitedly traced into your thigh

You’re horny ;)

“No dumbass! I’m going to a 5sos concert!”

There was a pause in the conversation before Cal answered You like those losers?

“Hey they’re not that bad!”

You went on to explain to Cal that you had not originally been into 5sos, writing them off as just another boy band. But when your friend mentioned the extra ticket, knowing you were always a slut for concerts, you checked them out and found that they were not at all a boy band. They were actually really good, genuine and goofy as hell, something you found really endearing. 

Finally Cal wrote back So… who is your favorite?

With a grin you answered “Definitely Michael.”

You couldn’t contain your laughter when Cal responded with THE ASSHOLE THAT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT DICK WITH COLORED HAIR

The conversation had put you in a good mood, as most conversations with Cal did, and you had a smile on your face for the rest of the night thinking about the concert. You didn’t know why, you just couldn’t put your finger on it, but you had a really good feeling about this concert.

 

Calum’s POV  
“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Calum screamed as he chased through their LA house after Michael. They both skidded to a stop in front of Ashton, making him sigh and roll his eyes as Michael tried to hid behind him.

“Michael what did you do this time?”

“Heyy, why do you only ever yell at me for yelling.” Michael pouted, wrapping his arms around Ashton’s waist and resting his head cutely on Ash’s shoulder.

Luke came walking in at that moment, and Calum thought he saw a weird look pass across Luke’s face when he noticed Ash and Michael. “What’s going on?” Luke asked.

Michael grinned manically at Calum and wiggled his eyebrows. “Cally’s little soulmate thinks I’m hot.”

Luke’s eyes widened as he looked over at Calum “She’s a fan? Dude!”

Cal let out a huff and plopped down on the couch, lowering his face into his hands “I’m fucked! She’s coming to a concert Luke! Our fucking Charlotte concert! How am I gonna be able to hide the fact that we’re soulmates when we’re in the same room!”

Ashton walked over and sat down beside Calum, thumping him upside the head. “That’s simple, you don’t, you dickhead. She’s your soulmate, she deserves to know!”

When Calum lifted his head a moment later, there were tears shining bright in his eyes. It took all of about three seconds for him to be cuddled into the center of an Aussie dog pile. 

“This is everything I didn’t want guys! Why does she have to be a fan? What if she is one of those crazy fans and she freaks out? What if she gets to know me and realizes I’m not the “Calum Hood” she wanted. I never wished for my soulmate to look a certain way, or like certain things, all I ever wanted was to not be “Calum Hood” to her. I just want to be Calum.”

Ashton petted Calum’s hair and Luke cuddled closer against his side. Michael spoke up, tickling Calum’s side teasingly. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about Cally, besides… you’re not the one she wants anyway. Hey oUCH LUKE STOP PINCHING ME.”

“MICHAEL YOU ARE YELLING.” 

Michael and Luke began hitting and pushing at each other and Ashton jumped over to try and pull them apart before they killed each other. Calum couldn’t help but smile a little as he watched his band, his family. No matter what happened he would still have them, he would always have them.


	4. Touch My Skin, Take Me Higher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> warning smut ahead

You were having dinner with your parents when it happened. Your dad was giving an in dept description of how his asshole boss had yet again tried to “ruin his life”. The tingling started on your chest, the sensation of hands sliding all over your body had you pausing, hand holding a spoon full of mashed potatoes mid air. The feeling of someone tweaking your nipple had you dropping the spoon all together. It clattered to the table, sending mashed potatoes scattering all over your mother’s favorite table cloth. 

Your father just stared at you as your mother demanded to know what was wrong with you. You profusely apologized, trying to quickly mop up the potatoes with a napkin. The mashed potatoes only seemed to spread the more furiously you wiped at them. 

The sudden feeling of your entire body being aflame had you jerking your hand back, sending your glass of water topping over and spilling into your father’s lap. The glorious burning tingle intensified and you yelled profuse apologies over your shoulder as you ran to your room.

By the time you slammed your bedroom door shut, you were panting. The all too familiar feeling building in the pit of your stomach let you know exactly what was going on. Cal was getting himself off.

A hand slid down your body, brushing lightly at your nipple, then traveling down until it gripped your left thigh tightly. The slow burn had turned into a forest fire and you couldn’t stop the moan that slipped through your lips. You stumbled over to the bed and laid down, trying to stay quiet and praying that your parents wouldn’t come check on you. 

For a moment you considered trying to get him to stop, but the sensations were too much, felt too good. He was your soulmate, of course it felt good. Your bodies were literally made for each other, why stop? So without a second thought you pulled off your shirt and lifted your hands to your breasts, circling your fingertips around your already hard nipples.

The sensations stopped so abruptly, sending your reeling. You smirked to yourself, wondering if Cal was as surprised as you were. A quick, Sorry, got caught up, forgot to block, was sketched into your thigh. You laughed softly before sliding your hands slowly down your body, nails lightly scraping against your skin. Cal still hesitated, you could tell he was nervous, feel the slight shaking of his hands. So you answered back, tracing a response into the inside of your thigh, a little to high to be normal.

“Touch yourself Cal, I want to feel you” 

 

Calum’s POV

Calum was not going to survive this. His entire body was thrumming with energy, he almost vibrated with it. He slammed the door to his, thankfully private, hotel room and stripped off his clothes in record time, his hands immediately going to his chest, running all over his body. His calloused thumbs brushed against his nipples, making him shiver. A light sheen of sweat covered his torso and face, his labored breathing making his cheeks slightly darken. His lips were puffy red and abused from his teeth, tongue darting out to wet them as he sucked in another shaky breath, his hand venturing lower on his body.

He had been thinking of her. Of course he had, she was the only thing on his mind lately. Michael had been talking about his soulmate earlier, how he had finally given into Michael’s teasing and had gotten off with him. Michael had been happy to finally find out that his soulmate was a guy from the sensations and way he touched himself. Listening to Michael talk about how indescribable it felt had Calum’s body aflame with desire, and by the time they had gotten back to the hotel he couldn’t take it anymore. 

When his hand finally wrapped around his cock, he moaned out brokenly, his entire body jerking at the feeling. His hand gripped his thigh as the wonderful pressure started to build at the base of his spine.

He was so caught up in the thought of her, how she would feel, how she would sound moaning his name, that he almost didn’t notice that the stroking sensation around his nipples wasn’t caused by him.

His hands froze, fuck, he couldn’t believe he let the block slip. He quickly traced an apology to her, embarrassed and nervous. But then the tickling sensation on the inside of his thigh as she stroked her response into his skin had him moaning out her name. He sucked in a breath at her response, not expecting his sweet princess to answer that way. They had never done anything like this before, had never even talked about it. Calum was always careful to block when he got himself off. This time it had gotten too out of control, he had let himself go and didn’t even notice that the block had slipped away with his sanity. 

Now he couldn’t stop himself, she wanted this too, and they would both get what they needed, even if he didn’t survive it. The feeling of her hands combined with his was almost too much to handle. Delicate caresses mixed with firm strokes sent him building higher once again, his entire body throbbing with both of their pleasure. His back arched off of the bed as his climax hit him, sending him over the edge as endless waves of pleasure washed over him. Their combined orgasms lasted longer than anything he had ever experienced, and by the time it was over he was trembling and unable to move.

He rolled to his side on the bed, not even bothering to pull a blanket up around him. His clean hand slid down to his thigh, covering the still trembling muscles and skin in those crude little hearts as they both drifted into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOOO JUST IMAGINE HOW COOL IT WOULD BE TO HAVE A SOULMATE LIKE THIS YOU COULD FEEL A MALE ORGASM I AM ALL FOR THIS


	5. These Fragile Bones Can't Bear The Weight Of You

Luke’s POV

As the date of the concert Calum’s soulmate would be at approached, Calum became more and more reserved. He was always grumpy lately, his resting bitch face ever present, and snapped at anyone who spoke to him. Around the boys, Calum was usually very social and affectionate, but they had seen little of him in the past week and he rarely spoke to them anymore. Luke wasn’t stupid, he knew what was going on. Luke had done extensive research on soulmates and Calum was showing every symptom for classic soulmate separation. 

Why was Calum not making an effort to talk to his soulmate anymore? The constant tension in his body and face was evidence of extended blocking, which wasn’t healthy to neither him nor his soulmate, Luke would know. He knew Calum was scared, and he got it, he really did. He knew every one of Calum’s fears from a first hand experience. What if his soulmate was disappointed by him in person? What if he didn’t look, sound, or act how his soulmate had expected and wanted?

But Calum’s thoughts and fears weren’t valid. How could anyone not completely adore that fucking human version of a puppy. Calum was fiercely protective, loyal to the bone, and loving in the most sincere kind of way. Calum was the ultimate soulmate, he just couldn’t see his own potential. Luke wished sometimes that he could force Calum to stand in front of a mirror until Calum saw what Luke saw and knew to be true. 

The headache throbbed low in the base of Luke’s scull and he reached up to rub a hand against the spot, adding pressure to relieve some of the tension, but the headache only gradually continued to grow stronger. A sound came from the other side of the room and Luke turned to see Michael stir in his hotel bed. He awoke slowly, turning over on his side and cuddling into his pillow, his black hair falling over his forehead, a deep contrast to his pale skin.

Michael lurched up in bed, green eyes wide with terror, then jetted to the bathroom clutching a hand over his mouth. Luke was right behind him, immediately going to the sink and wetting a wash cloth which he rung out and placed over the back of Michael’s neck. He petted Michael’s hair soothingly as the black haired boy retched the contents of his stomach into the toilet. When he was done, Luke flushed the toilet then scooted over so Michael could brush his teeth at the sink. As Michael scrubbed his mouth, Luke rubbed at the base of Michael’s neck, wiping the sweat away with the damp cloth.

Michael let out a soft groan. “Feels good Lukey, I’ve got a killer headache.”

Luke just nodded, watching him solemnly. “You really shouldn’t drink so much Mike, ‘s not good for you.”

Michael chuckled softly “You’re one to talk Lukey, you drink almost as much as Calum does. But you’re right, I went overboard last night. I gotta get back to bed so I can rest and concentrate on blocking. This headache must be a bitch for my soulmate.” Michael said, turning back to head towards the bathroom door. 

“Yeah,” Luke said softly, “Must be.”

 

Your POV

Cal hadn’t talked to you in days. It had been at least four days since you had last felt his touch, and the separation was really starting to take its toll on you. If it felt this bad for you, you couldn’t imagine how bad it was for Cal. 

You wanted to ask what was going on, was he okay, was he hurt, why was he ignoring you this way? But you were almost too scared of the answer you would get. You had started off feeling sad which had then progressed to a heightened worry that sent you into the worst panic attack you had had in a while, although blocking it was easy because of the already present separation.

But now? Now you were angry. Cal had no right to treat you this way. You hadn’t done anything wrong, and even if you had he should grow up and just talk to you about it. He was ignoring you on purpose, you were sure of it. If he were hurt, you would feel heavy sadness. If he no longer wanted you, you would feel empty numbness. But you felt strained, as if your entire body was made of rubber bands, pulled tight and waiting to snap. He was doing this on purpose. He had a reason to outright avoid you. He was hiding something big and you were determined to figure out what the fuck was going on. 

 

Calum’s POV

Calum gripped on to the counter as his world started to spin for the third time today. Ashton gripped onto his arm and steadied the kiwi boy, pulling him over to a kitchen chair and shoving his head between his knees.

“What the fuck is going on Calum, and why did you almost just pass out? You haven’t talked to us in almost a week! What’s going on?” Ashton demanded

Calum kept his head tucked safely between his knees, fearing that if he tried to move he would fall right out of the chair and crack his skull open on the hard tile floor.

He heard someone approach, then Michael’s voice filled the room “He’s been ignoring his soulmate too, fucking coward.”

Calum grimaced and tilted his head up slightly to look at Michael. “Why do you sound so bitter Michael? What crawled up your arse and died?”

Michael’s face went blank, voice dropping to a low monotone, quiet and void of emotion. “I sound so bitter because you’re a stupid cunt. Your soulmate adores you, would do anything for you, and you are taking that for granted. You are going out of your way to ignore her because you’re scared. You could be happy Calum, both of you could if you would just man up and tell her the truth. She deserves to know, because she loves you, because she has done every damn thing she can to connect with you and you keep pushing her away.”

Calum sat up fully and blinked, taken aback by Michael’s words. He knew he had really fucked up. Michael was a very openly emotional person, but when he was like this, shut down and void, was when he was truly angry. 

 

“Mikey I’m sorry I..”

“Do you know why I tease my soulmate so much? Why I’m always trying to get them riled up and fucking with them? Because that’s the only connection I have with them. A sexual connection is the only thing they will let me have. So I take what I can get, as often as I can get it. But it kills me Cally, it rips me open inside. I need them but they only want me for that, refuse to let me into any other part of their life. I would do anything to have the type of connection with my soulmate that you could so easily have with yours. I’m not the one you should be apologizing to Calum. Tell her the truth.”


	6. Falling Apart And Falling Back Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ashton has a plan, Calum has a plan, and fate has a plan that fucks both their plans up in the best way possible.

The day of the concert was finally here. You had been counting down the days for the past month, the fact that the concert would soon be here was the only thing to look forward too now that Cal was ignoring you. 

Your passion for concerts was a huge part of your life. The feeling of being surrounded by people, the same rhythm pounding through every single body, connecting you all, was indescribable. For those few short hours, the crowd became one, feeding off each others energy, sharing the same ache of emotions, singing the same lyrics. There was no place else you would rather be. 

Although you were super excited for the concert, the situation with Cal was still constantly on your mind. You couldn’t help but have the nagging feeling that he was being this way because of what you had done together. Maybe he wasn’t ready; maybe you had pushed him into it. 

Your body was heavy with it, the separation exhaustion getting slightly worse each day. And you were done. No matter what caused all of this, it was going to stop now.

Calum’s POV

“What the fuck is going on?” Calum winced as the words were scrawled angrily across his arm. He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to rub at the tension between his eyes.

He wanted to tell her how much the separation was hurting him too. How many times he had wanted to just talk to her. How close he had come to telling her everything. But he couldn’t, not yet. So he settled for a lame “I’m sorry”.

He could feel the anger radiating from her and honestly he couldn’t blame her. But then her anger morphed into something entirely different, a swirling hurricane of sadness, nervousness, and regret. The words she slowly traced into his arm made his skin burn.

“Is it because of what we did?”

His eyes ached as he fought back the sudden urge to cry. She was hurting and it was his fault. All of this had been done to try and protect her and now he had ultimately cause her pain. She didn’t even know who he was yet and he was already fucking it all up. 

“No! God no of course not.” He replied, trying to soothe her worry.

“That’s the only thing I could think it would be.”

Calum gulped, trying to dislodge the knot in his throat. “It’s not princess, I promise.”

She didn’t answer and somehow that was worse. So he wrote back, “You don’t understand right now, but you will.”

 

Ashton’s POV

Calum was running around like a mad man, and Michael couldn’t figure out what was going on but it had to have something to do with Calum’s soulmate. Tonight was the concert that she would be at. Ashton just hoped Calum knew what the fuck he was doing. 

This shit storm Calum had created was getting ridiculous, and it was affecting all of them. With Calum running around, talking to everyone but the boys, things were starting to fall apart. Calum was the glue of the band, he held them all together, had brought them all together to start with. A small smile lit Ashton’s face as the memories filled his head.

Michael and Luke had hated each other. It had something to do with some girl they had fought over, not to mention the fact that Luke thought Michael was a lazy slacker and Michael thought Luke was a hopeless fucking nerd. But Calum, Calum had seen the good in both of them and had forced them to work their shit out. It was Calum who had seen Luke’s videos on youtube and spent weeks convincing Michael that Luke was exactly what they needed to make this whole band thing work. And he had been so right. Separately, they were both pretty good. But Luke and Michael together? It was magic. Everyone could see it. Well, everyone except the two boys themselves. Some things really never change, Ashton mused.

Then Ashton came into the picture, contacted by Michael through facebook. For the first practice, Calum was absent. At the second one, the small Kiwi boy seemed to hate Ashton, endlessly picking on his purple shirt and his jorts. Ashton thought Claum hated him. But when Ashton had voiced his fear that he didn’t think the whole band thing was going to work out for him, Calum turned those damn puppy dog eyes on him and the rest was history.

Calum was truly the driving force of the band and without him Luke had retreated into his shyness again, Michael did nothing but play video games, and Ashton was actually starting to miss all the “daddy” jokes.

This bullshit was going to end tonight. Ashton hoped to God that Calum wasn’t going to try and hide his identity from his soulmate while being in the same damn room as her. He was going to get his shit together and meet her. Tonight. Whether he wanted to or not. 

Ashton had a plan. 

 

Calum’s POV

Calum had a plan. 

He had been running frantic all day, trying to make sure everything was perfectly in place for when the moment came. He only had a few more hours until showtime and his heart beat more frantically with each passing second. 

He could tell the boys were irritated with them, and he hated that he was leaving them out. He was really fucking up things big time, both with his soulmate and with the boys, but tonight he would make everything right. 

He knew she was angry with him, could feel every emotion like it was his own. But tonight he would come clean in the biggest way he could possibly think of. Tonight, during the middle of the concert, he would reveal himself to her. Then they would bring her up on stage during the portion where they usually brought up a fan to play with them, and he would make it known to the whole world that she was his, and that he was in love with her. 

The thought shocked him, was he in love with her? She was his soulmate, of course he would fall in love with her eventually. But why had it been so easy to think, so easy to say, now. Because he was already in love with her. The thought hit him like a brick, bringing him to a stand still in the middle of the hotel lobby. 

Michael yelled at him, grabbing his arm and dragging him towards the elevator. He heard Ashton call out to whoever was inside the elevator to please hold the door. They got to the door just in time and all piled inside. 

The girl already inside the elevator was a short little thing, but then again almost everyone was short compared to the four giant boys. She looked over at them for a moment and her eyes widened. Then she gave a soft smile and looked down at the floor as Michael grinned back, a blush coloring her cheeks. Oh joy, a Michael girl. This should be fun.

 

Your POV

Holy fucking balls. You couldn’t believe you were standing on the elevator with 5 Seconds of Summer. Literally what are the fucking chances. You weren’t the type to lose your shit around celebrities, so you were keeping your cool. But when Michael grinned at you, you couldn’t help but blush and look down at your feet. 

You heard Calum grumble something about Michael “being a fucking man whore” and to “leave the poor girl alone”. Ashton giggled and Michael’s hand jerked out to smack Calum upside the head.

A gasp left your lips and you grabbed on to the railing on the wall as the world seemed to tilt. Because you had felt that, you had literally felt that.

“Hey, are you okay?” Calum asked, his voice soft and deep as he reached out towards you.

You looked up at him, entire body trembling with adrenaline as your raised your arm, holding it out in front of you so that he would be able to clearly see what you were going to do next.

You lifted your shaking hand, fingers hovering over the skin of your arm, then traced a “Hi” into your tingling skin.

Calum’s eyes went wide and someone, you think Luke, muttered an ‘oh shit’. But then Calum smiled, and you didn’t have time to be disgusted with yourself for being so cliche, because nothing else mattered except the sound of his voice as he answered, the smile softening his face, eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“Hi princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter left!! You guys have no idea how relieved I am that they have finally met. On Monday of this coming week the final chapter will be posted and on Wednesday the first chapter of the next part of the series will be posted. The next part will focus on Luke and his Soulmate, the third part will focus on Michael, and the fourth and final part of the series will focus on Ashton. Hope you guys liked this chapter!


	7. Hold Me Close and Don't Let Go

One minute you were captivated by his smile and the next you were wrapped in his arms, pressed tightly against his body. You inhale his scent and his entire body relaxes into his arms. 

“It’s you, it’s really you. Fuck, princess” 

Your entire body screamed at you to pull him closer, to have every inch of against his. Your mind chanted over and over. Home. Home. Home. It was perfect. He was perfect.

The elevator dinged and you felt him move forward, making you walk back with him, refusing to let you go. The elevator doors swished closed behind you and Calum bent down to sweep you up in his arms, causing a little squeak to leave your mouth.

Calum grinned “Hang on princess, we’re almost to the room.”

When he finally sat you down, letting the door to their hotel suite close behind you, you hauled off and smacked him in the shoulder. “I’m still fucking pissed at you. You have a lot of explaining to do.” 

Cal sighed and the smile on his face slipped a little bit. “I know, I fucked up big time. And I’m so sorry princess, but I had my reasons, you have to believe that.”

You nodded and let him lead you towards his bedroom in the suite. As you passed Michael he reached out and rubbed his hand down your back, whispering a “go easy on him okay”, and earning a snarl from Calum. 

Calum closed the door behind you two and you sat down on the bed. He sat down beside you and immediately took your hand, intertwining your fingers and letting his other hand stroke the skin of your inner arm. You couldn’t keep the smile off your face. You knew how he was feeling, how he felt like he just had to be touching you. You felt it too. 

“Okay princess, first of all I am so sorry for the shit I put you through. But I needed time to come up with a plan, to protect you. Do you know how hard it was for Ashton and his soulmate when they got together? It was horrible and I couldn’t put you through that. I’ve talked to all of our security people and management day and night making sure I would be able to keep you safe. Your safety comes first princess, always.”

You nodded, licking your lips before speaking. “Okay, I totally get that. And I appreciate it more than you know. But you could have told me who you were! You didn’t have to hide that from me Cal, I wouldn’t have gone to the press or any crazy shit like that.”

The little tension line appeared between Calum’s brows. “I know that now. I guess I was scared.. no I was scared, there is no guessing. In fact I was terrified, especially after I found out you were a fan. There was always that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that when you met me you would be expecting Calum Hood and not like me for just Calum, your soulmate. I know it sounds fucking ridiculous, but it haunted me. I’ve seen how celebrity soulmates turn out. I didn’t want to lose you so soon, I wanted to keep you as long as I could. So I hid who I was, and I will always regret that because it hurt you.”

You smiled softly, “I guess it also didn’t make you any happier when I said my favorite was Michael.”

Cal’s eyes darkened, “I wanted to kill him. Especially since he wouldn’t shut up about it. You’re mine princess, only fucking mine.”

 

Later that night, in a stadium full of screaming fans, Calum announced to them all that he had found his soulmate. Then he brought you on stage, and amidst the sea of screams and cheers, you shared your first kiss. Your body tingled with it, you couldn’t tell if it was Calum or the adrenaline, or the fear. It was a mixture of everything, racing through your body and to Calum like a circuit between you two. It was perfect. You were happy. It was you and Calum against the world.

 

*2 weeks later*

Being on the road with the guys had been a crazy experience. They had all welcomed you into their little family, made you feel at home. You loved spending mornings with Ash, before any of the other boys were awake, watching Mean Girls with Luke until you could recite every line, and spending nights in Calum’s bed, wrapped up in each other like nothing else in the world existed. 

But you and Michael had formed a special bond. You were alike in many ways, liked the same music, had some of the same life experiences, shared some of the same struggles, and had matching senses of humor. Almost every moment that you weren’t with Calum was spent with Michael, playing video games, sharing stories, or just cuddling up and watching cartoons in your pajamas. 

In fact, you were doing just that right now, huddled together in front of the tv watching Courage the Cowardly Dog and seeing who chickened out first because lets be honest that show was terrifying. Calum walked past the two of you and when you called out a ‘good morning sleepy head’ he just grumbled back a grouchy response, glaring at you over his shoulder. 

You scrunched your eyebrows together, pulling away from Mikey and going to stand beside him. “What’s going on Calum? You’ve been grouchy all week!”

“He’s on his man period!” Michael called out from beneath his nest of blankets.

You bit your lip, fighting to hold in your laughter, and reached out to stroke Calum’s arm. As soon as your skin touched his a shock went through you, like rubbing your socks on the carpet then touching something metal. You jerked back and Calum let out a huff before heading back to his bunk.

Touching your soulmate was never supposed to hurt, not like that. Something was wrong, very wrong.

You followed right behind Calum, grabbing his harm and leading him to the back part of the tour bus instead.

“Okay, spill. What the fuck is happening and why did touching you just hurt me?”

“Oh I’m sorry, did your little finger get hurt? Maybe Michael will kiss it better for you.” He spat Michael’s name like it was venom on his tongue.

You jerked back, surprise, “Is that what this is about? Me spending time with Michael? Babe...”

“No! Don’t you fucking babe me okay I knew this would happen! You’re always with him, laughing and cuddling like he fucking owns you! Why am I even surprised I mean hey, he is your favorite right? So maybe fate stuck you with the shitty bassist but fuck fate, you can still get the man you want huh? Is that how it is, two for the price of one?” By the time he stopped talking he was panting, his entire body shaking

“What the fuck are you talking about Calum!? Michael is my friend! Is that really what you think, that I would use you to get to him? Is that what you thought all along?”

The silence was answer enough. You stormed out of the tour bus, ignoring Calum’s pleads for you to stop and the shocked look on the rest of the guy’s faces as they all stood at the front of the bus, having heard the entire fight.

You walked around the venue for a good hour, fighting back your tears as best as you possibly could and eventually punching at a wall until your fingers bled. That’s how Ashton and Luke found you, sitting in a deserted hallway, bloody hands resting gingerly on your lap.

They sank down beside you, one on each side. Ashton wrapped an arm around your shoulder and Luke took your hands into his lap to inspect them. “We’ve been looking for you for hours. Mike stayed back to try and talk to Calum, figured it was best if you two didn’t hang around until Calum calms down.” Ashton explained

You were all silent for a bit, then Luke spoke up. “He didn’t mean it ya know, the things he said. He could never think that about you. Sure he was scared, but he could never believe that you would do that. Calum isn’t as confident as he seems. Some days his anxiety is so bad he can barely even function. He may seem like this cocky fucking asshole but he’s not. He’s just feeling a little neglected. When we have a big concert or interview coming up he gets really needy, and when he feels like he is being neglected he gets defensive. He loves you Y/N.”

You sniffled a little, wiping the tears from your eyes. “He’s never told me. It’s not like I don’t know he loves me, I know he does, but he has never said the words.”

Ashton nods and pulls you closer to his side. You all sit there for a few more minutes until your crying subsides and then you let them lead you back to the tour bus. When you get back, Calum isn’t there and Michael is sporting a busted lip.

“You look like shit” Ashton mused, and Michael smiled a little before wincing “You should see the other guy.”

He must have saw the fear in your face because he immediately followed up with “I’m joking, I didn’t hit him. He’s fine just a little ashamed and a lot pissed at himself”

You opened your mouth to say something but the door to the bus swung open and you turned to see Calum come up the steps. His face was tear streaked and puffy, showing his exhaustion clearly. He took one look at your hands and his face crumbled even more. He slowly walked over to you and took your hands gently in his, cleaning them in the sink and then raising them to his mouth to place a soft kiss on each of your knuckles, whispering an “I’m sorry” with each kiss.

You took his hands in yours and lead him back to his bunk, pushing him down onto it before curling up beside him and pulling the curtain closed behind you. You pulled his head onto your chest and carded your fingers through his hair as his arms wrapped around your waist and your legs tangled together. This was always the position you were in when he was sad, hearing your heart beat always seemed to calm him. 

“I’m so fucking sorry princess. I don’t know what got into me. I was just so jealous, I wanted you all to myself. I know you would never use me to get to Mike. That was so fucking stupid of me to say. And now look at your hands, its all my fault”

You could feel the wet splatter of tears against your shirt, hear the quaking in his voice, and you shushed him quietly, stroking his hair until he calmed down.

“I just get so scared that I will lose you. It would kill me to lose you. I’m in love with you, you know? You fucking own me.”

You smiled into the darkness. “I know, I’m in love with you too.”

*three years later*

Calum’s chest was pressed against your back as you cuddled together in the early morning light, tired from a night of love making. Your daughter would be awake soon, and you needed to rest, but both of you were wide awake, content to sacrifice sleep in order to just hold each other for a little while longer.

It was your daughter’s first birthday today, and you couldn’t help but reminisce on how far you and Calum had come. You could tell he was thinking of the same, forever in tune with you. His soft, husky morning voice broke up the silence.

“Ya know the first time I ever felt your touch I was on an elevator. I knew what panic attacks felt like and for a moment I thought it was my own, I get claustrophobic sometimes when my anxiety gets bad. But then I felt like my entire world shifted. And I could feel you. Feeling you was the only thing that mattered. It’s kind of funny that we finally met on an elevator. I thought you were the cutest thing I had ever seen, so short compared to me, but with a fire in your eyes. You knocked me off my feet princess.”

“I’m pretty sure you swept me off mine.” You laughed, remembering how he had carried you to the hotel room, neither of you wanting to relinquish your hold on the other. 

He pressed his lips against your neck in a gentle kiss, his fingers rubbing circles in your hip bones. One of his hands slipped down to your thigh and he began tracing those pointy little hearts you had come to love so much. The two of you stayed just like that, in your little bubble of forever, until you heard your daughter begin to stir in the next room and the two of you shared a smile, your hand rubbing over where he had traced the hearts as you rose from the bed to a new day in your happy forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit guys its the last chapter I'm so emotional right now and that last part was so cheesy im gonna puke but wow I can't believe its over my first 5sos fic holy balls thanks to you all for the support! and watch out for the next part of the series coming soon!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first story here so go easy on me. This story was originally a short soulmate!calum blurb I posted on my tumblr and I have now turned it into a full length fic. Let me know what you think!


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